Substance abuse, or substance use disorder, is what mental health providers diagnose when people use drugs, alcohol, or other chemical substances in ways that aren’t healthy. Substance abuse is diagnosed when people keep using the drug or substance, even though it causes them problems in their lives. Usually we notice that they start to have problems controlling how much of the drug they use, having issues in their relationships, doing things that are risky or not safe, and also can have changes in their brain because of the drug (for example, people start to use more of it or have physical symptoms when they don’t use it). There are a few different things that can be diagnosed in the substance use category:
Substance Use Disorder: this is diagnosed when someone uses a certain drug over a long period of time. They might:
Use too much of it
Try to stop using and then start again
Have cravings (really wanting the drug when you’re not using it)
Use the drug even when it is dangerous
Have problems in their everyday lives because they are using it too much.
A substance use disorder can be mild, moderate, or severe – and this is determined by how many symptoms someone has.
Substance Intoxication: this is diagnosed when someone has recently used a drug and it is still affecting their body and brain. For example, with alcohol, this describes when someone is drunk. A provider might diagnose this if someone comes in for treatment and it is clear they aren’t functioning normally because they are using drugs (for example, if you took your child to the emergency room and the doctors saw that they had been using drugs, they might use this term).
Substance Withdrawal: this is diagnosed after someone stops using a drug, but they are still having symptoms in their body that are happening because they stopped using it. Withdrawal symptoms are different depending on what drug people were using, how much they were using, and how long they were using it for. Sometimes substance withdrawal can make people’s hearts beat really fast, they can shake, they can have a hard time sleeping, they might feel sick and throw up, or they could even see and hear things that aren’t there. Withdrawal from some drugs can be very severe and cause a lot of medical problems, because people’s bodies get used to taking the drug and have a hard time getting used to it when they stop. If your child has been using a drug and they want to stop, it’s always a good idea to talk to their provider to see if there are any serious withdrawal symptoms they might experience. Sometimes providers can give other medications or medical support to help people when they are having withdrawal symptoms.
Substance-Induced Mental Disorder: this is diagnosed when someone has symptoms of another mental health disorder (like psychosis, depression, bipolar, or anxiety) and these symptoms started because they were using a drug or other substance. The symptoms of substance-induced depression, for example, can look pretty much the same as regular depression, but the difference is that substance-induced depression usually gets better after someone stops taking the drug and withdrawal symptoms end, while regular depression doesn’t. When providers diagnose a substance-induced mental disorder, it’s really important for them to understand when symptoms started, what makes them worse, and how your child feels when they are not using drugs. This is important because you treat substance-induced mental disorders differently than other mental disorders: usually, by having people stop using the drug or substance.
The diagnosis your child is given will usually include the name of the drug (or type of drug) they are using that causes them problems. It’s possible to have more than one substance use diagnosis – for example, you could be experiencing alcohol withdrawal and also have cannabis use disorder. There are lots of different kinds of drugs and they all affect kids’ bodies and brains differently, so it’s important to understand what your child is using, how much they are using, how long they have been using it, and if they are using multiple different kinds of drugs. There are also some kinds of drugs that are legal and others that are not. It’s more common for adults to drink alcohol, smoke or ingest marijuana, and consume caffeine – but even though these things are legal at a certain age, they can all cause problems for people who use them too much. It’s important to talk to your child early and often about all of these things and how they impact our bodies and brains. And remember – drugs and substances can hurt kids’ brains much more than adults even if they aren’t using very much, because kids’ brains are still growing and developing.
There are other things that kids can be addicted to that are not drugs. Right now, the only one most providers diagnose is gambling problems (when people have trouble with gambling or betting money that causes them problems in their daily lives). However, there are other things that kids can use too much and have problems with that aren’t diagnosed, but that can still be important to talk about in treatment. One of these is technology and social media use, which scientists tell us can cause a lot of problems for kids and can actually change the way their brains work and think about kids.
If you think your child may struggle with technology and social media use, read more about our guidelines and treatment recommendations here.
Sometimes adults use substances such as alcohol occasionally but aren’t addicted. However, because the brains of kids and teenagers are still developing (and because most drugs and substances aren’t legal for them to use), it’s important for kids and parents to be extra careful with the use of substances, because it can impact their brains more than adults. It can be easier for their brains to get used to drugs and start to crave them, and they may have more difficulty with paying attention, solving problems, or remembering things once they have started using drugs.
Kids who are struggling a lot with using drugs, alcohol, or other substances might have other symptoms such as:
Hiding alcohol or drugs in their rooms or other places where they know they can find it but their parents won’t
Seeming more angry than usual or getting upset with other people easily
Grades in school suddenly get worse or kids start to skip classes or other activities they enjoy
Spending more and more time with friends who are also using alcohol or drugs
Suddenly losing weight or not being hungry
Being more tired than usual and wanting to sleep more
Asking for money or stealing money
Lying to caregivers
Marks on arms or legs, or wearing long sleeves in warm weather (if they are injecting drugs)
Seeming sick or having other physical symptoms that don’t make sense
Breaking other rules at home and at school
Certain drugs and methods of using drugs are much more risky for kids than others. Obviously if kids are using more drugs at a time or using drugs more often than they used to, providers get concerned. Other risky behaviors to watch for are:
Abusing prescription drugs (taking drugs that a doctor prescribed but taking too many of them or continuing to take them for too long)
Using drugs that affect the brain and body more intensely (like cocaine, heroin, methamphetamines, or ecstasy)
Injecting drugs into the body. Injecting drugs is when people use a needle to put a drug into their body rather than swallowing or breathing it. This can be really serious both because it puts a lot of drugs directly into their blood, and because using needles in an unsafe way can put kids at risk for getting other sicknesses that are transferred through blood.
Substance abuse is not caused by just one thing – there are a few factors that can make it more likely that a child or teenager will develop this kind of disorder.
Genetics & personality: Kids with a parent, grandparent, or sibling who struggles with substance abuse are more likely to have similar problems. This can also be true for kids with a parent, grandparent, or sibling who has another mental health disorder – it can make it more likely that they will use drugs or substances in the future. However, family support is a protective factor against substance use: this means that the more connected & supportive your family is, the less likely your child will have serious problems with substance use. So if you know these problems are common in your family, one of the best things you can do for your child is to work on your relationship with them and help them feel safe and supported at home.
Environment: there are some things that can happen to kids that make it more likely they’ll have a substance use disorder, or make it more likely that their symptoms will be more severe. Experiencing a lot of stress or trauma early on can make it more likely that kids will use drugs or substances to deal with difficult emotions they have. Being in environments with other people who use alcohol, drugs, or other substances can also normalize these things for kids – meaning that they start to think about the use of drugs as a normal part of life, and they also are likely to know where to find drugs if they want to try it themselves. The age kids start using alcohol or drugs is also important and can impact their symptoms – because their brain isn’t fully developed and younger kids struggle more with self-control, kids who start using drugs younger are more likely to develop substance use disorder because their brains are more sensitive to the effects of the drug and not developed enough yet to tell them when it’s time to stop.
Smoking cigarettes is less common now, but many kids vape or use e-cigarettes instead. Vaping is when kids breathe in a mist that is made by an e-cigarettes or vape pen. It usually has nicotine (the same chemical that is in regular cigarettes) and sometimes contains marijuana too. Often, vape and e-cigarette products actually have more chemicals in them and are stronger than regular cigarettes, so they can be really bad for kids and really addictive (meaning that many kids will have a hard time stopping once they start vaping).
One problem with vaping is that the flavors of the mist taste better, so kids and teenagers like them more than regular cigarettes. They come in flavors like cotton candy and bubble gum, so if you notice odd smells like this in your home, this could be a sign to ask your child about vaping.
Really anyone can be affected by substance abuse. It’s pretty common for people to experiment with alcohol or drugs at some point in their life, but not all of these people have abused drugs or have a problem with addiction. People who start using alcohol and drugs at a younger age are more likely to have a substance use disorder later on. The CDC estimates that about 15% of high schoolers have tried illicit or injection drugs at some point. You can read more statistics on youth substance abuse from the CDC here.
There are a lot of things that you can do to help your child who struggles with substance use – and you’re already taking a big step by learning more! Many kids & parents see a lot of improvement with the right support. Here are some resources/treatments that scientists have found to help with substance use difficulties:
INITIAL ASSESSMENT: the first step to substance use treatment is a good assessment to learn how severe your child’s substance use problem is and figure out how to best help them. This is usually called an interview, clinical interview, assessment, or intake. This is part of any kind of mental health treatment but it’s especially important for substance use, because we need to understand how serious the problem is to know how to best treat it. A provider may ask your child to fill out some questionnaires and will ask them a lot of questions about how much they are using, how often they are using, and what type(s) of drugs they have tried. If they are seeing a doctor or nurse in a medical setting (like a hospital or clinic), the provider may even run blood or urine tests to see what drugs are in their body and understand how much they have been using. This first meeting with a provider will help determine what type of help your child needs, and where they should go to get it.
PSYCHOSOCIAL INTERVENTIONS: if your provider thinks it’s safe for your child to live at home while they’re getting treatment for substance abuse (this is called outpatient treatment), they will probably participate in therapy. This can be done individually, in groups, or a combination of both. Psychosocial therapies for substance use have different names (like multicomponent therapy), but basically mean that they are treating both the child’s mental health problems (that’s the “psychological” part of the word) and the things in their environment that are contributing to their problems (that’s the “social” part). For kids and teenagers, families are usually involved in treatment too.
INPATIENT TREATMENT: inpatient treatment is what it is called when a provider thinks it is safest for your child to get help while living in a treatment facility for a certain amount of time. This can happen for substance use disorders for a few reasons. One reason is that if your child has been using really harmful substances or using a lot of drugs and alcohol, they might need a provider to watch and help them for a while as they are detoxing, or withdrawing, from taking the drug. Providers might give medication to help with the symptoms they have during withdrawal. Another reason is that staying at an inpatient treatment center can help your child heal without being around the people or places they usually go to when they are using drugs. It can be hard to stop using when you are still around other people who are, so staying in an inpatient treatment center helps kids get out of their usual environments and break the patterns that have contributed to their substance use. Usually caregivers and families can still visit their children while they are living at the treatment center, and you will probably still be involved in family therapy in this type of treatment as well. Inpatient treatment can seem scary, but know that your child is getting care from a whole team of providers all day, every day. It can provide a lot of support and take the burden off you as a caregiver to do it all alone.
Kids who struggle with substance use might find themselves using drugs too much, trying to quit but not being able to, or missing out on important things in their life because of how they are using drugs or other chemicals. Explore the questions below to learn how to recognize the signs, understand what causes substance abuse, and discover effective treatment options.
Understanding Substance Use
Substance use disorder is what mental health providers diagnose when people use drugs, alcohol, or other chemical substances in ways that aren’t healthy. Usually kids start to have problems controlling how much of the drug they use, having issues in their relationships, doing things that are risky or not safe, and also can have changes in the way their brain works because of the drug.
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Substance Use Disorder is diagnosed when someone uses a certain drug over a long period of time.
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Substance Intoxication is diagnosed when someone has recently used a drug and it is still affecting their body and brain.
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Substance Withdrawal is diagnosed after someone stops using a drug, but they are still having symptoms in their body that are happening because they stopped using it. Withdrawal from some drugs can cause a lot of medical problems, so it’s always a good idea to talk to a professional to see if there are any serious withdrawal symptoms your child might experience.
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Substance-Induced Mental Disorder: this is diagnosed when someone has symptoms of another mental health disorder (like psychosis, depression, bipolar, or anxiety) and these symptoms started because they were using a drug or other substance.
There are lots of different kinds of drugs and they all affect kids’ bodies and brains differently, so it’s important to understand what your child is using, how much they are using, how long they have been using it, and if they are using multiple different kinds of drugs. It’s important to talk to your child early and often about all of these things and how they impact our bodies and brains. Substance use problems can range from mild to severe, and the type of treatment your child needs will depend on what & how much they are using.
Getting support for substance use starts with knowing what to ask for. Use the questions below to find out how to get help, talk with providers, and access the tools your child may need.
There are a few ways to get support for a substance use disorder. Here is how you can get started:
Get emergency support if needed. If your child is actively using a drug and you are concerned about their safety, get help right away. You can take them to the emergency room, call the 988 lifeline, or contact law enforcement if you are worried about their physical safety. If your child is not responding to you, passes out, or is having trouble breathing, call 911 right away. Taking too much of a drug to the point where you can die is called an overdose. If this happens to your child, get them help immediately, and if they have survived an overdose, encourage inpatient treatment to deal with their substance use problem.
Click here for more information about accessing crisis services.
If your child has been using drugs and you are worried about a possible overdose, talk to a doctor about how you can be prepared. Some medications, like Naloxone (or Narcan ®) can help people who are overdosing. Naloxone (Narcan ®) specifically helps people who are using opioids (some prescription medications, heroin, and fentanyl) and it won’t hurt someone even if you give it to them and they are not overdosing. If you suspect your child or someone you know is using opioids, it’s a good idea to have Naloxone accessible in your home. You can usually get it for free at a local pharmacy. Check out this website to learn more.
Contact a substance use treatment center. There are lots of clinics that specifically provide help for people with substance use. This is usually the fastest and easiest way to get help for substance use, and clinics offer mental health support as well as legal help, group counseling, and medication when needed.
Comprehensive Healthcare offers bilingual substance use treatment in the Yakima area through their Youth & Family Tree Team. Click here to learn more.
Ask a mental health professional. Therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists can help assess your child. They might do an interview with you and your child to learn more about what’s going on, and they might have you fill out some questionnaires that ask specific things about your child’s substance use. Not all mental health providers specialize in substance use, so it’s good to find a provider that has specific training in this area. There is a special certification that providers in Washington can get that gives them extra training in substance use – you’ll see the letters SUDP behind a provider’s name, which stands for Substance Use Disorder Professional.
Click here to find a provider.
Talk to your child’s pediatrician. They can ask your child questions about substance use and do a blood or urine test if needed to see if your child has recently used any drugs. A pediatrician probably won’t provide ongoing treatment and support for your child, but they can be a good first step (especially if your child already has a regular appointment scheduled).
Treatment for substance use disorders usually includes therapy to talk about the thoughts and feelings that go along with substance use, cravings, and withdrawal. It often also includes group support where kids talk with other people who have experienced similar problems, case management and other services to manage the consequences of substance use (like legal problems), and medication when needed to help with withdrawal and cravings.
Finding the right level of support: it’s important to talk to your child’s providers right away to figure out what type of treatment your child needs. Smoking marijuana once or twice a month is a different problem than injecting opioids daily, and while both can cause problems, there are different levels of support that kids will need for these things. Your child’s provider can ask the right questions to figure out how much support your child needs to help them recover. If your child has already had legal problems because of their substance use, their legal and probation team will probably also have some input about what type of treatment they get.
Family Therapy: family therapy is an important part of treating substance use in kids and teenagers, and research shows it really helps kids get better and stay in treatment. There are different types of family therapy and some have more specific names and structure (like Multidimensional Family Therapy) but the basic component of all of them is helping family members support their children who are struggling.
Multicomponent or Psychosocial Therapy: psychosocial therapy usually involves families too, but the multicomponent part means it also combines other forms of therapy like motivational interviewing and cognitive behavioral therapy that we know can help people with substance use disorders. This type of therapy can help kids who also have other mental health problems, because they learn skills to manage both substance use and mental health at the same time.
Harm Reduction. Sometimes people aren’t ready to stop using drugs, or they try to stop and then start using again. Harm reduction strategies mean helping reduce the negative things that can happen as a result of drug use, even if the person is still using drugs. These can be things like Syringe Services Programs, which teach people about safe practices for injecting drugs, dispose of used needles to make sure people don’t get blood-borne sicknesses, and help people who have open wounds from using drugs.
Advocating
for Help
Getting the right support for your child who is struggling with substance use can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. This section guides you through how to start the conversation with professionals, understand what a thorough assessment looks like, and recognize key treatment components that make a difference. You’ll also find practical tips for working with your child’s school and how to find the right providers to support your family’s unique needs. We’re here to help you confidently advocate for the care your child deserves.
Progress
Over Time
Once your child has been diagnosed and is getting treatment, there are still more ways you can support them – and yourself. Here are some next steps to consider:
Ensure safety in your home: If you know your child struggles with substances or drugs that you usually have available in your home (like alcohol, prescription medications, over-the-counter medications like DayQuil, NyQuil, pain medications, etc.) – help them by limiting access, and modeling either moderate use or abstinence from substances. You may choose to lock cabinets in your home where these things are stored, or even better, get rid of them safely if you can. In addition to removing access to things that are harmful, make sure you make it easy for your child to do other things that are good for them. Set up a safe place at home where your child can spend time doing things they enjoy when they feel strong emotions or drug cravings. Replacing a bad habit with something more helpful and useful helps your child’s recovery.
Focus on connection over controlling behaviors. When you see your child doing something harmful or dangerous, it’s easy to jump in and try to stop the behavior right away. But as kids get older, it’s important to help them make these decisions themselves – you won’t be able to control your child’s behaviors forever if they eventually live on their own, and they will need to learn how to keep themselves safe without you if they are going to recover and succeed in treatment. The best thing you can do to protect your child is to focus on your relationship with them. Spend time together doing things you both enjoy, and encourage open communication as much as you can. This is a much better and more effective strategy than just trying to stop the behaviors that aren’t helping them.
Get on the same page with goals: talk to your child and their treatment provider about their goals for treatment and make sure you are in agreement about what to expect and what you are working towards. Different people think differently about substance use treatment: some families want to focus first on abstinence, or making sure your child is not using any substances or drugs at the start of treatment. Other families want to start with harm reduction, or making sure that your child is using drugs in safe ways and then gradually decreasing their use over time as appropriate. If you are expecting total abstinence at the start of treatment and your provider starts with harm reduction strategies, it’s going to be hard to work together to help your child. Make sure everyone knows what the treatment plan is and what the primary goals are at the start of treatment. Goals can change over time, so you can always revisit this conversation with your child and their provider at any time in the future!
Read helpful books: Some of the books below are helpful if you know your child is already struggling with substance use, and others also include proactive strategies for talking to any child about substance use
“The Addicted Child: A Parent’s Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse” by Richard Capriola
“Not by Chance: How Parents Boost Their Teen’s Success In and After Treatment” by Tim Thayne, Ph.D.
“How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid” by Joseph A. Califano, Jr.
“Parenting in a Substance Abundant World: A Roadmap to Building Protective Factors in Childhood, Recognizing the Signs of Substance Use, Dealing with Addiction, and Nurturing Recovery and Healing” by Elizabeth Benson
It’s hard to see your child struggling, especially when it feels like things are getting more intense, not better. You’re not alone—and there are steps you can take to get support and stabilize things.
Start with your child’s provider. Let them know what’s changed. Sometimes therapy needs to be more frequent or focused differently, or something needs to be changed in your child’s routines or environment. Be specific about what you’re seeing: more substance use, unsafe behaviors, use of multiple drugs at the same time, more frequent outbursts, etc. This will help your provider to identify areas of change that might help your child.
Ask about crisis planning. Every family should have a plan for what to do if things get worse or if you or your child feel unsafe. This might include knowing who to call during a crisis (like a mobile crisis team or behavioral health urgent care), when to head to the ER, or how to calm things down safely at home. Your provider can help you build a plan that fits your family.
For recommendations specific to substance use emergencies and overdose, see our section above on getting emergency support.
Look into inpatient programs or intensive support services. Most communities offer intensive programs for substance use that bring together a team to support your child in multiple areas during their recovery. Your child will likely stay at a facility while getting treatment (people often refer to these programs as rehab or detox centers, they are also called inpatient or residential programs). As your child learns more skills and feels more confident in their ability to maintain recovery on their own, they may return home and go to therapy and classes most days during the week. It’s not uncommon for people with substance use disorders to need some extra support, at least at the beginning of their journey – it can be really helpful to stay somewhere else for a period of time and get out of the harmful patterns that have been making their substance use worse. Don’t be afraid to ask your provider for this if your child needs it!
Your child spends a big part of their day at school—so it’s important that their learning environment supports their needs. You don’t have to be an expert in education law to advocate for your child. If your child has another mental health or medical problem, they may qualify for an IEP or 504 plan which gives them accommodations and extra support at school. However, substance use is a little different from other mental health diagnoses. If your child is actively using drugs, they likely won’t qualify for extra support at school for their substance use. But if your child is diagnosed with a substance use disorder and can show that they are in recovery (usually by sending proof to the school that they went to treatment for their substance use), they may qualify for support and accommodations. If your child is part of an inpatient program for substance use (a program where they live at the clinic instead of at home), it is likely that this program has experience working with kids to keep up in school while they stay at the facility. Talk to their treatment program to see what support is offered.
Click here to get more information on talking to your child’s school.
This section offers a few extra tools to help you along the way. Whether things are going smoothly or getting more challenging, these resources can support you as your child grows and their needs change.
You’re doing great work. Just by showing up and staying engaged, you’re already well on the journey of supporting your child. This path isn’t always easy—it can feel like a long hike with ups, downs, and unexpected turns—but you’re not walking it alone. This section offers a few extra tools to carry with you as you go: ideas for building on the care your child is already receiving, support for when things feel like they’re getting harder, and guidance for working with your child’s school. Whether you're exploring advanced behavior strategies, needing help during a rough patch, or advocating for better support at school, these resources are here to help you keep moving forward. Every step counts—and you’re already making meaningful progress.
Caregiver Tool Kit
This section offers simple, practical tools to help you support your child—from building routines and healthy habits to improving communication and recognizing their strengths. It’s also a reminder that taking care of yourself is part of the plan—you’re not alone on this journey.
Structure & consistency
The more you can keep a regular routine and consistent healthy habits in your home, the better. This includes things like eating healthy meals together, doing sports or other physical activities as a family, and having a consistent schedule for things that you do every day – like eating, sleeping, and going to school at consistent times. Having a predictable routine allows you to connect with your child every day, helps you keep an eye on your child and make sure they’re safe, and helps your child feel safe and secure at home.
Bring in other trusted adults
Kids benefit from having other adults, in addition to parents, caregivers, and family members, that they can trust. In particular, kids with substance use problems can really benefit from having an older mentor or friend in their lives, and this can also give you some time and space to focus on yourself. If you are seeking out this support on your own, make sure the adults your child spends time with are safe and are not providing them access to drugs or substances. If you’re not sure how to find a mentor or supportive adult for your child, there are some organizations that can help!
Check out the mentoring program at SAFE Yakima Valley!
Boundary setting
Kids who are using substances might push the rules and boundaries you set at home more than most, and you may need to set additional boundaries as you learn more about your child’s substance abuse and behaviors. It’s important (and challenging!) to balance rules and boundaries while providing love and support to your child. When possible, especially with older teenagers, work with them to make sure they understand the reason you are setting rules, or even ask them what boundaries they think are appropriate (for example, you might say something like “I’m concerned about your safety when you spend time with this group of friends, because we know you’ve used drugs with them before. How do you think we can work together to keep you safe?”). When you do set a rule or boundary, make sure you decide on it when you are calm (i.e. don’t come up with new rules on the spot when you’re in an argument with your child!) and that it’s realistic to stick to. Once you’ve established a rule and communicated it to your child, be consistent and stick with it every time. This protects both you and your child and makes it easier for both of you to know what to expect in situations where your child breaks a rule or pushes a boundary too far, because you’ve already talked about it together.
Teaching good communication
Kids are more likely to set their own boundaries around drugs and say no in situations where they are pressured by peers if they know how to communicate in assertive ways. Assertive communication is the healthy middle ground between passive and aggressive communication – kids who communicate assertively are able to express their needs clearly without being aggressive or pushy towards others. You and your child can practice assertive communication together by:
Speaking calmly and confidently when you need to express your opinion
Saying no when you need to – and sticking to it!
Repeating yourself clearly when others push your boundaries or don’t listen to you the first time
Using “I-statements” to express how you feel and what you need from others (e.g. instead of saying “you are making me upset!” you can say “I feel upset, and I really need you to give me a minute alone.”)
Parenting a child with substance use problems is a big job. It’s okay to ask for help and it’s good for your child to learn that they can also ask others for help when they need it!
Lean on your support system and take breaks when you can. It makes a big difference when you can be calm and consistent in the ways you interact with your child, but you don’t have to do it alone. While it can be challenging and take a lot of effort to work through substance use behaviors and get treatment, your child’s health and wellness over time will be so much better without the negative impact of substance abuse. You’re investing in their future and most kids will learn to practice their new skills and work towards recovery more independently as they walk this journey.
Blame the behaviors. People with substance use don’t always think about things very logically. Your child may say things that hurt you, act in unpredictable ways, and cause a lot of problems for themselves and you because of their substance use. It’s easy to take these things personally when they’re directed at you. Take a minute and remember that the child you love is still there, and that you and your child are fighting the substance use problem together.
Know your own limits. As much as you would love to protect your child from everything dangerous and painful, it’s just not possible – especially as they get older and make their own decisions. It’s important to provide support when they ask for it, but it’s also okay to step back when you need it. It’s not uncommon for families of loved ones with substance use problems to feel like they are working so hard, and sometimes people with substance use just aren’t ready to get help yet. As hard as that can be, things may have to get worse before they get better – for treatment to work, your child has to be willing to admit they are struggling and start working to get better. If your child isn’t ready to accept help yet, the best thing you can do is leave the door open for them to talk to you when they’re ready. If your child isn’t ready to stop using drugs, there are also things you can do to support them while they are still using substances (like harm reduction techniques mentioned above, basically helping to keep them safe even while they are using drugs). Do what you can and give yourself permission to step back and let go of the things you can’t control.
Get support for yourself too. This is important for any caregiver of a child with substance use problems, and especially important when you know your child is struggling and they aren’t ready to get help yet. Remember, there’s only so much you can control, and while you can’t control their behaviors and their substance use, you can work with a professional on talking through your own emotions and experience. You’re playing the long game, and things may not change right away – but when your child is ready to get help, you’ll be there ready to support and help them. You can find your own support by looking for a therapist for yourself, and/or by joining a parent support group to connect with others who are going through a similar journey.
If your child is already in treatment, a good first step is to ask your child’s provider or treatment center what support groups or classes they offer for caregivers and families. You may be able to get connected to local groups and resources this way.
One organization that runs family groups for people whose loved ones are struggling with substance use is Al-Anon. You can learn more about this organization here. This organization also offers meetings called Alateen, which are specifically for teenagers whose loved ones have a substance use problem (so if your child has siblings or friends who are worried about them, you could recommend they try out one of these groups too).
Another organization for parents is called Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL). This organization typically caters to parents of adult children but also has resources on their website to offer support and education.
Supporting a child with substance use problems takes patience, creativity, and a strong set of tools. This section offers practical strategies you can use at home—like building routines, improving communication, and finding your child’s strengths. You’ll also find tips for coaching your child as they build new skills, promoting healthy habits, and taking care of yourself along the way. You don’t have to do it perfectly—you just have to keep showing up. This toolkit is here to help make the journey a little easier, one step at a time.