Disruptive Behaviors | BH360

My child may have a diagnosis related to disruptive behaviors or impulse control, now what?

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Education

Kids and teenagers with disruptive, impulse control, and conduct disorders usually have a hard time managing their emotions and the way they act. There are a few different diagnoses in this category and there are some important differences between them.

Your child may have oppositional defiant disorder if they:

Are angry and irritable
Argue with adults
Refuse to follow rules
Try to annoy other people
Blame other people for their problems

Your child may have intermittent explosive disorder if they:

Have aggressive outbursts
Seem like they can’t control or predict their anger or aggression

Your child may have conduct disorder if they:

Don’t respect the basic rights of other people
Refuse to follow rules
Are intentionally aggressive towards people or animals
Break the law

A note on conduct disorder: this diagnosis is more rare in young children, and the behaviors of people with conduct disorder are usually more severe and cause more problems than the other diagnoses listed here.

Diagnoses like pyromania (setting fires) and kleptomania (stealing things) are less common but are also part of this category.

These diagnoses can cause problems for kids at home, in school, and in their social lives. If left untreated, kids with these behaviors are at a higher risk for other problems like substance use, dropping out of school, physical injuries, and legal problems. As a parent, it’s important to think about whether your child’s inability to control their emotions and behaviors is unusual for their age, and if this causes them serious problems in their life. It’s normal for a lot of kids to annoy their siblings, get mad, and not want to follow rules all the time. But if your child is getting into trouble at school, can’t seem to calm themselves down, or you think their behaviors are not safe for themselves or others, these could be signs of something more serious.

Disruptive, impulse control, and conduct disorders are not caused by just one thing – there are a few factors that can make it more likely that a child will develop this kind of disorder.

Genetics & personality: Kids with a parent, grandparent, or sibling who struggles with disruptive behaviors or aggression might be more likely to experience these things too. This isn’t always the case though! We also know that kids have different personality types and respond differently to things. Some scientists say that kids who are naturally more fearless and who have a hard time connecting with others can be more likely to develop one of these disorders.

Environment: there are some things that can happen to kids that make it more likely they’ll have disruptive, impulse control, or conduct disorders. Kids who see other people being violent or aggressive when they are young, especially in their families, are more likely to develop these disorders. Parenting can also play a role – while this is not the only factor that causes aggression and behavioral issues, kids whose parents discipline them very harshly and who don’t connect with them emotionally may also be more likely to develop these types of disorders. One of the best things you can do for your child is to build a strong relationship with them and set consistent and fair rules and expectations for them at home!

Disruptive, impulse control, and conduct disorders can affect kids and adults. These disorders often start in childhood or in the teenage years, but sometimes can start later in adults too. About 3% of kids in the United States have Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). 2.7% of kids in the US have Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED), and another 4% have Conduct Disorder (CD). In the past, more boys have been diagnosed with these things than girls, but that is changing a little as scientists do more research and more people are getting mental health care.

There are a lot of things that you can do to help your child with disruptive, impulse control, and conduct disorders – and you’re already taking a big step by learning more! Many kids & parents see a lot of improvement with the right support. Here are some treatments that scientists have found to help with behavioral and impulse control difficulties:

PARENT MANAGEMENT TRAINING

Parenting a child with disruptive or aggressive behaviors can be really challenging! It is common for parents to need some extra support figuring out the right ways to talk to their child and set rules at home to help them succeed. This can help with your child’s behaviors and also your mental health as a parent.

This type of therapy usually works well for kids who are 2 to 17 years old and have ODD or CD (it may be helpful for IED too but that hasn’t been studied as much).

CHILD SKILLS TRAINING

It’s important for caregivers to be involved in therapy as much as possible, but it’s also important for kids to learn the skills they need to help manage their own emotions and behaviors. Some skills that are really important for kids with these kinds of disorders to learn are:

Assertive communication: how to ask for what you need clearly & without being aggressive

Emotion regulation: how to understand and deal with your emotions, and what to do when you feel a really strong emotion you can’t control

Social skills: how to interact better with friends and peers and learning to understand how your actions impact other people

Some examples of skills training therapies and programs are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), the Coping Power Program, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).

MULTISYSTEMIC THERAPY

Multisystemic Therapy (MST) is a type of therapy that looks at a teenager, their family, their school, and their community to help see what problems they are having, what is going well for them, and what needs to change to help them get better. MST is best for kids ages 12 to 17 years old.

MST can include some parent training skills and the child learning some skills too. It is a great type of therapy because it looks at the child’s whole environment and provides a lot of support for kids to get better!

MEDICATION

Usually medication isn’t prescribed to deal with aggressive or disruptive behaviors. However, it’s pretty common for kids with these diagnoses to have other symptoms too, like ADHD or depression. A provider can help you figure out if your child might have another diagnosis and if medications might help them.

Disruptive, impulse control, and conduct disorders are a category of diagnoses that involve problems with controlling emotions and behaviors. Kids with these types of problems behave in ways that break rules or hurt others. Explore the questions below to learn how to recognize the signs, understand what causes it, and discover effective treatment options.

Understanding Disruptive, Impulse Control, and Conduct Disorders

Disruptive, impulse control, and conduct disorders cause kids & teenagers to have a hard time managing their emotions and the way they act. There are a few different diagnoses in this category:

Oppositional defiant disorder: kids are often angry or irritable, argue with adults, and don’t follow rules.

Intermittent explosive disorder: kids have aggressive outbursts that are hard for them to control, and it seems like they never know when they might get angry or upset.

Conduct disorder: kids don’t respect the rights of other people, may be aggressive towards people or animals, and might get in trouble with the law. These behaviors are usually more severe than the other diagnoses.

These diagnoses can cause problems for kids at home, in school, and in their social lives. If left untreated, kids with these behaviors are at a higher risk for other problems like substance use, dropping out of school, physical injuries, and legal problems. As a parent, it’s important to think about whether your child’s behavior is unusual for their age and if it causes you or others to feel unsafe around them. If you’re concerned, talk to a professional to figure out what’s going on and find new ways to help your child. With the right support, things can get better for you and your child, and you can find ways to help them understand and manage their feelings and actions.

Getting support for behavioral challenges starts with knowing what to ask for. Use the questions below to find out how to get help, talk with providers, and access the tools your child may need.

There are a few ways to get diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, or Conduct Disorder. Here is how you can get started:

Talk to your child’s pediatrician. They can do a basic screening, tell you whether your child’s behaviors are typical for their age, and refer you to someone else if needed.

Ask a mental health professional. Therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists can help assess your child. They might do an interview with you to learn more about what’s going on, and sometimes they might have you fill out some questionnaires that ask specific things about your child’s feelings and actions. Psychiatrists can prescribe medication if your child has another diagnosis in addition to disruptive & aggressive behaviors.

Click here to find a provider.

Work with your child’s school. Teachers and school staff may struggle to know how to handle your child’s behaviors in the classroom and to understand why they act the way they do. Teachers can also provide good information about how your child behaves at school, and this can help them get the correct diagnosis. Sometimes kids with these types of disorders benefit from accommodations at school (these are usually called IEP’s or 504 plans).

Click here to learn more on how to talk to your child’s school.

PARENT TRAINING

You & your child will learn tools that work well for kids with disruptive and aggressive behaviors (because usual parenting methods sometimes don’t and can be frustrating for you and your child!)

Setting routines and specific rules at home
Understanding what motivates your child and how to work with them towards goals
Paying attention to good behavior and improving your relationship with your child
Keeping you and your child safe when they are aggressive or impulsive

SYSTEMS WORK:

Your child is part of a community and this community usually has both good and bad things about it. Think about your child’s friends, school, teachers, sports teams, clubs, neighborhood, extended family, etc. Who is encouraging and helping them? Where do they get into trouble?

Systems therapy (such as Multisystemic Therapy or MST) looks at your child’s whole system, or community, to try and make positive changes. Sometimes it can be hard for a therapist to see a child for just one hour a week, because a lot can happen outside of that therapy session that we can’t control! Systems therapy uses skills and community resources that your child already has to help them make progress, even when they’re not in a therapy session.

SOCIAL SKILLS

Kids with disruptive and aggressive behaviors often struggle with social skills, understanding social cues, communicating well with others, and caring well for others. Learning these skills is an important part of therapy and this can happen in individual therapy or in a skills group.

PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS

Kids with disruptive and aggressive behaviors sometimes don’t know better ways to solve problems and struggle to plan and think ahead. Learning new skills for solving problems and dealing with challenges is also an important part of therapy for them.

Advocating

for Help

Getting the right support for your child with behavioral challenges can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. This section guides you through how to start the conversation with professionals, understand what a thorough assessment looks like, and recognize key treatment components that make a difference. You’ll also find practical tips for working with your child’s school to secure accommodations and how to find the right providers to support your family’s unique needs. We’re here to help you confidently advocate for the care your child deserves.

Progress

Over Time

Once your child has been diagnosed and is getting treatment, there are still more ways you can support them – and yourself. Here are some next steps to consider:

Look into parenting groups and programs. Know that you don’t have to figure this out alone. Parenting a child with ODD, IED, or Conduct Disorder can be a huge challenge and can leave you feeling frustrated, ashamed, and burned out. Joining a parent support group (such as Parent to Parent at Children’s Village, or a Parenting Skills Class through Catholic Charities) can help you learn new strategies and get encouragement and support from other parents who are on a similar journey.

Read helpful books. There are some excellent, practical reads written for parents like you.

Try “The Defiant Child: A Parent’s Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder” by Dr. Douglas A. Riley

“The Uncontrollable Child: Understand and Manage Your Child’s Disruptive Moods with Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills” by Matis Miller, LCSW

“The Explosive Child” by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D.

Ask your provider to track progress with measurement tools. You can ask your child’s therapist or doctor to use things like behavior checklists and emotion rating scales to track what’s improving – and what still needs support. Some apps can help you track sleep, mood, and routines, too.

Keep in touch with your child’s school. Even if your child already has support at school, it’s worth checking in regularly. Ask for updated reports, suggest team meetings, and make sure accommodations are still working. You can also request changes to your child’s IEP or 504 plan if needed. See the Talking with My Child’s School section below.

It’s hard to see your child struggling, especially when it feels like things are getting more intense, not better. You’re not alone—and there are steps you can take to get support and stabilize things.

Start with your child’s provider. Let them know what’s changed. Sometimes therapy needs to be more frequent or focused differently, or something needs to be changed in your child’s routines or environment. Be specific about what you’re seeing: more aggression, bigger meltdowns, school issues, more frequent outbursts, etc. This will help your provider to identify areas of change that might help your child.

Ask about crisis planning. Every family should have a plan for what to do if things get worse or if you or your child feel unsafe. This might include knowing who to call during a crisis (like a mobile crisis team or behavioral health urgent care), when to head to the ER, or how to calm things down safely at home. Your provider can help you build a plan that fits your family.

Look into wraparound or intensive support services. Some communities offer “wraparound” programs that bring together a team to support your child across home, school, and community (similar to the MST therapy model mentioned previously on this page). These services are especially helpful when things feel complex or overwhelming, and can help catch problems that might have been missed in traditional talk therapy.

Request a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA). If your child’s behavior is disrupting their learning or daily life, you can ask the school for an FBA. This helps figure out why certain behaviors are happening and leads to a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) with concrete supports.

Layer in more structure or supervision at home. During tough times, it can help to simplify routines, add more visual schedules or checklists, and create calm-down areas at home. This doesn’t fix everything—but it can reduce stress for everyone.

Take care of yourself, too. When your child is in crisis, it can take a toll on your whole family. Connecting with other parents, talking to a therapist, or simply having a support system in place can help you stay grounded while you’re supporting your child.

Your child spends a big part of their day at school—so it’s important that their learning environment supports their needs. You don’t have to be an expert in education law to advocate for your child. Here’s how to get started:

Request a meeting with the school. If your child already has a 504 Plan or IEP, you can call a meeting anytime – not just during annual reviews. Share your concerns, ask for updates, and discuss if changes need to be made. If your child doesn’t have a plan yet, you can formally request an evaluation to see what supports they qualify for.

Bring data and observations. Schools respond best to clear examples. Keep track of patterns—like missed assignments, behavior changes, or stress around certain subjects. You can also ask your provider to write a summary of concerns or diagnoses to share.

Learn about your rights. Resources like Wrightslaw explain special education laws in parent-friendly language. Knowing your rights helps you feel more confident in meetings and ensures your child gets what they’re entitled to.

Explore tools from other parents. Understood.org and wapave.org is a great website full of free tools, templates, and stories from families navigating similar school challenges. It can help you figure out what to ask for and how to phrase it.

Consider getting extra help. A behavioral health consultant or educational advocate can go to meetings with you, help interpret school evaluations, and suggest goals that actually match your child’s needs. This kind of support can make a big difference—especially if meetings feel overwhelming or you’re not sure what to ask for.

This section offers a few extra tools to help you along the way. Whether things are going smoothly or getting more challenging, these resources can support you as your child grows and their needs change.

You’re doing great work. Just by showing up and staying engaged, you’re already well on the journey of supporting your child with behavioral challenges. This path isn’t always easy—it can feel like a long hike with ups, downs, and unexpected turns—but you’re not walking it alone. This section offers a few extra tools to carry with you as you go: ideas for building on the care your child is already receiving, support for when things feel like they’re getting harder, and guidance for working with your child’s school. Whether you're exploring advanced behavior strategies, needing help during a rough patch, or advocating for better support at school, these resources are here to help you keep moving forward. Every step counts—and you’re already making meaningful progress.

Progress Over Time

Advocating For Help

Parent Toolkit

Caregiver Tool Kit

This section offers simple, practical tools to help you support your child—from building routines and healthy habits to improving communication and recognizing their strengths. It’s also a reminder that taking care of yourself is part of the plan—you’re not alone on this journey.

Build confidence in other areas

It’s very common for kids with eating disorders to struggle with their self-esteem, and no matter how many times you tell them that they look beautiful, their body is healthy and strong, or you don’t think they’re overweight, they’re probably still going to struggle with their eating and self-image. Focusing on things that are great about them, outside of the way they look, can help build healthy self-confidence no matter what they weigh or how much they eat. It’s great to give your child compliments about internal characteristics they have (i.e. they are kind, they are resilient, they are creative), so that even when other things change, they know who they are on the inside.

Be a role model

Think about how you talk about food and exercise. What are your eating habits? How do you talk about your own body and self-esteem in front of your kids? How does your family exercise? Kids look to parents and other trusted adults to learn about how they should do things and think about things. Working on your own healthy habits and thinking about yourself positively encourages your child to do the same.

Set goals as a family

Kids with eating disorders often feel very alone. They may not want to eat in front of other people, hide to make themselves throw up, or avoid being with other people because of how they feel. Spending time with them helps them to know that you’re in their corner – and you can also find fun ways to be healthy and strengthen your bodies as a family! Maybe you can play on a playground with them, go on a family bike ride, or walk to the store together. Set goals for your health together – not just weight related, but goals for how you want your body to feel and what you want to be able to do.

Parenting a child with an eating disorder is a big job. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s good for your child to learn that they can also ask others for help when they need it!

Lean on your support system and take breaks when you can. It makes a big difference when you can be consistent in the way you respond to your child, but you don’t have to do it alone. The good news is – while it can be a big change & a lot of effort to start working on eating and behavior changes with your child, once you establish these rules and expectations, it will make things easier in the long run and your child will learn how to practice their new skills and make healthy choices on their own!

Find a support group. There are lots of support groups specifically for parents and loved ones of children with eating disorders, both online and in-person. Some organizations and resources to explore include:

F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) walks alongside families navigating the challenges of their loved one’s eating disorder.

National Alliance for Eating Disorders: free helpline and groups for individuals with eating disorders and their loved ones

ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders): helpline, learning library, and community groups for individuals with eating disorders

Supporting a child with disruptive behaviors, impulse control, or conduct disorders takes patience, creativity, and a strong set of tools. This section offers practical strategies you can use at home—like building routines, improving communication, and finding your child’s strengths. You’ll also find tips for coaching your child as they build new skills, promoting healthy habits, and taking care of yourself along the way. You don’t have to do it perfectly—you just have to keep showing up. This toolkit is here to help make the journey a little easier, one step at a time.

What will I notice in my child?

What causes disruptive, impulse control, and conduct disorders?

Who is affected by disruptive, impulse control, and conduct disorders?

Treatments that work for disruptive, impulse control, and conduct disorders?

How to get help

If my child has disruptive behaviors or impulse control challenges, what treatment components should I ask my provider about?

Find a provider

My child has a diagnosis, now what?

My child is getting worse, what can I do?

Talking with my child’s school

Daily Habits That Help

Caregiver Self-Care

Find a Provider